HI, MY NAME IS KEVIN CORRIGAN

How You'll Spend Thanksgiving Night

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:30:31 -0500

I’ve created a flowchart that predicts what you’ll do after your family festivities end Thanksgiving night. Enjoy.

An exciting day for people in the middle of the Venn Diagram of “People Who Think I’m a...

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:32:10 -0500

An exciting day for people in the middle of the Venn Diagram of “People Who Think I’m a Cool Dude” and “People Who Like Funny T-Shirts.” Three of four shirts released by Busted Tees today were my ideas. I think they’re some of my better shirts, too. You should buy them because something something the economy or whatever.

And this came out a couple weeks ago. It’s one of my favorites.

Tired of movies that leave the ending up to your own...

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:40:53 -0500

Tired of movies that leave the ending up to your own interpretation? Me too! Amir and I wrote new endings for Lost in Translation, The Wrestler, The Sopranos, The Graduate and No Country For Old Men so no one else ever has to think when they’re over.

samreich:

“Ambiguous Endings Resolved,” written by Amir and Kevin, directed by Josh, produced by Ben, shot by Vince, handled by our super talented post team. I had nothing to do with this, but I love it. Digg it.

6 minutes of people doing random things for some reason. This is...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:52:07 -0500

6 minutes of people doing random things for some reason. This is one of the most entertaining Internet videos I’ve seen in a long time.

Whiskerino 2009 has begun! I’ll be growing my beard as...

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 22:16:00 -0500

Whiskerino 2009 has begun! I’ll be growing my beard as hard as I can for the next 4 months and posting pictures everyday-ish.

Here are my pictures from the last Whiskerino. This year should be more fun since I have a new camera, more free time and I’m moving into out of my parents house and into my first apartment tomorrow. I’m going to be an independent human! New beginnings all around.

My girlfriend runs a cupcake fan blog, and today in honor of...

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:18:20 -0400

My girlfriend runs a cupcake fan blog, and today in honor of Halloween she’s posting a picture of deliciously spooky cupcakes every hour. Follow http://cupcakesiwouldeat.tumblr.com if you enjoy looking at things that will make you hungry.

Kevin's Old, Rejected Onion Headlines Vol. 1

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:00:00 -0400

While getting ready to move and digging through my old stuff, I found some of my old Onion headline submissions. I contributed headlines sporadically after I interned there my sophomore year at college, until I started at CH. I still think some of these jokes are funny.

Area Elementary School Student Wishes Just Once Fire Drill Would Be Real
“Juicer Not For Meat,” Says Bourgeois Area Mom
Senior Citizen Indiscriminately Applying To Afterlives
New Soft Drink Container Quickly Fills Stomach, Lungs With Refreshing Pepsi
Area Bus Driver Likes To Pretend He Is Bus Driver Of The Stars
Area Man Waiting For Next Big Development In Garage Door Technology Before Finishing Garage
Angst Ridden Teenage Robot Wishes He Was Never Invented
Area Fetus Intentionally Fails Birth In Effort To Live Off Parents For Another Trimester
Rebellious Burger Touts The Lives It’s Claimed In New Ad
Area Man Interested In Fucking Girl Interested In Catching Up With Him
Determined Group of Stoners Overcome Adversity To Achieve Amateur Softball Championship*
Area Man Persuaded To Vote Kerry By Outdated Bumper Sticker
Congressman Spends Whole Day In Senate By Mistake
Freshman Rep. Alan Grayson To Get Detention If He Is Late For Congress One More Time**
Government To Issue Delicious New Meat Coats to Cold, Hungry Homeless This Winter: “Choose Your Fate,” Says Government
Speed Limit Enforced By Fatal Accidents
US Days Without National Tragedy Counter Rapidly Approaching 2***
McDonald’s Introduces Healthy New Food-Free Options
Area Man Evolves Just To Prove Creationists Wrong
OP/ED: Someone Please Stop Me Before I Suicide Bomb Again!
Special X-Games Full Of Athletes Injured In Regular X-Games
International Super-Spyware Averts Nuclear Disaster Using Stolen Personal Information
Penis Enlarged, Still Unused

I wish I had more of these saved. Unfortunately, I was submitting these in the days of hotmail, and hotmail never saved my sent messages for some reason. I may be able to find more on a flash drive somewhere, and if I do I’ll post them.

* Based on the ruthless High Times magazine softball team, the Bong Hitters
** I added a current freshman representative because I didn’t have one written down
*** Written during a time of frequent national tragedies, but I can’t remember which

Bears R Chill

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:41:56 -0400

Bears R Chill:

This awesome blog was started by my coworker Julia a while back, but I’ve been updating it recently.

YOU SHOULD FOLLOW IT BECAUSE IT RULES.

Photo

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 16:27:57 -0400

Here it is. 4 years in the making, every single recorded...

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 17:44:00 -0400

Here it is. 4 years in the making, every single recorded instance of vandalism on the Nickelback wikipedia page. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, and now, thanks to the help of the plucky Collegehumor interns Nat and Tom, the dream has become a reality.

Digg it if you’d be so kind.

streeter: dangurewitch: Hardly Working: Stomp. We decided to...

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 18:21:00 -0400

streeter:

dangurewitch:

Hardly Working: Stomp. We decided to take a break from comedy and do some avant-garde performance art. One of my favorites in a while. Kudos to shooter/editors Matt & Creighton for painstakingly piecing together this doozy.

This was fun.

I DON’T KNOW WHY EVERYONE IS FREAKING OUT, MY HOTMAIL IS WORKING FINE.

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 11:19:00 -0400

I DON’T KNOW WHY EVERYONE IS FREAKING OUT, MY HOTMAIL IS WORKING FINE.

I went to Acadia National Park in Maine over the weekend....

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 23:55:49 -0400

I went to Acadia National Park in Maine over the weekend. Here’s a sampling of what the scenery is like up there.

Acadia Scenery

I’ve never seen Masters of the Universe, but this clip,...

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 20:11:38 -0400

I’ve never seen Masters of the Universe, but this clip, sent to me by Adam Newman, makes it one of my favorite movies.

View-Master Factory Toxic Waste Site

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 13:49:29 -0400

View-Master Factory Toxic Waste Site:

Here’s an interesting Wikipedia article I just stumbled onto. Remember View-Masters? Those old, red-plastic 3-D picture things? Over 25,000 people were exposed to harmful toxic chemicals in the production of those toys.

"Once, there was a magical golden goose that laid one beautiful golden egg every day, making its..."

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 22:23:20 -0400

“Once, there was a magical golden goose that laid one beautiful golden egg every day, making its owners very wealthy. Eventually, though, the owners became impatient and decided to cut the goose open, to get all the golden eggs at once. When the owners plunged the knife into the goose’s stomach, millions and millions of golden eggs started pouring out, until there were enough for everyone. “Wow,” said the townspeople, “We’re really happy you cut that golden goose open.””

- It’s possible Kevin and I remember differing versions of this story. (via benjoseph)

The Anatomy of a Dorm Room

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 18:11:00 -0400

The Anatomy of a Dorm Room:

New article by me. I’m particularly proud of the bed I drew. Hopefully it’s funny, but as long as people appreciate the bed I’m satisfied.*

*Not true at all

EDIT: As Kevin Slane has pointed out, the video of the dancing glow in the dark people was not the correct link. I have corrected it.

My coworker, and author of many hilarious Collegehumor articles,...

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:08:19 -0400

My coworker, and author of many hilarious Collegehumor articles, Owen Parsons just scored 121 out of 151 on an online Pokemon naming game. That means he was able to name 80% of the first generation Pokemon from memory! That’s insane! He’s a hero.

17-Year-Old Becomes Youngest Person to Sail Solo Around the World

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 16:29:04 -0400

17-Year-Old Becomes Youngest Person to Sail Solo Around the World:

I’ve done a lot of awesome stuff in my life. This kid makes me look like a joke in comparison.

benjoseph: I really like this profile Kevin and I created to...

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 14:17:13 -0400

benjoseph:

I really like this profile Kevin and I created to publish our first joint CollegeHumor article, Other Poorly Photoshopped Microsoft Ads.

If you like it, Digg it!

What Ben said!